Story of guesswork and disappointment...

I grew up practicing Jainism - a minority religion in India. Jainism is based on the premise that one will not hurt - knowingly or unknowingly - another living being. This includes physically, emotionally, mentally, and in any other form. As a result, many Jains (followers of the Jainism religion) are vegetarian - some stricter than others. 

Growing up, my parents were not very strict followers of the religion but my grandparents were. On many occasions, my grandfather would invite Jain monks to his home for lunch. Now, this was not any ordinary lunch party you have with your friends. This was a very special occasion and you would have to prepare for it days in advance. If the invitation was accepted (many times it was not), the day the monks came the entire kitchen was washed and cleaned and you could only enter it after you had bathed. The host family would also fast till after the monks ate their lunch. Usually, many vegetables and dals (lentils) would be cooked. There would be rice and rotis. In addition to all this, some of the monks - as was tradition - would come having predetermined that they would only eat if a particular vegetable or dal was made. If not, they would not eat food at all. Yes, I know cruel for them and worse for the host family! Disappointment for everyone involved!

So, why am I bringing all this up? Because of Wordle! I considered Wordle the same as some of the monks that had pre-decided what they wanted to eat. If you have heard of Wordle then you know that you are supposed to guess a predetermined word. I played Wordle religiously for a few months. It was quite literally the first thing I did every morning and every time I played, the story above would play in my mind. Most days I could guess the word; the days I couldn't, I was disappointed and the sentiment stayed with me all day. So one day, I woke up and forgot to play Wordle, and then it happened again the next day, and then every day for a week. Now, I can't even remember the last time I played Wordle, And, every time I try to play it now I get annoyed. I get annoyed because I no longer want to guess what someone else wants me to. I no longer have the capacity to try and predict someone else's thoughts. I feel Wordle was setting me up for disappointment when I couldn't guess the word. And, I no longer wanted to start my day with disappointment!

Wondering what the message is in this story? It is about communication. Having predetermined thoughts, biases, and prejudice do not serve us. By not taking the time to understand the stories around us, by not asking questions, by constantly having to guess what someone else is thinking, we give rise to a whole host of emotions, assumptions, and narratives that don't serve us well. So, give up on your preconceived notions and listen to others' stories and ideas, and then form your narratives. Stop being disappointed and start appreciating the richness of thoughts. 

What do you need to stop guessing and start asking? What narratives and stories will it help you reframe?